Seasons

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;

Ecc. 3:1-2a

It has been a very eventful week. Just speaking about Malaki he has made huge strides in his development. I kind of wish he could spread these milestones out a little - It's overwhelming to see him grow up so fast! This week he has:

• Learned to get to a sitting position from laying down all by himself
• Learned to pull up to standing (the logical next step) laying - sitting - standing
  
• Learned to CRAWL! (Nothing is safe anymore) July 17, 2008
• Learned to cruise around his crib! July 20, 2008
  
• Got a tooth! July 21, 2008
• Crawled up a step! (about five inches high) Today- July 23, 2008.
  
  

This week has also brought up many memories of the past year and a half. A good friend of ours, Miss Donna, died last Thursday after being sick for quite a while. Miss Donna was a dear, spunky lady. She was ready to go home; so, when she did pass away I felt sadness for myself and her family... but I was glad in a way. I'm thankful that she is home. I'm thankful that she isn't sick anymore. I'm thankful to have known her.

Brian has also been outside quite a bit - building a fence and being manly. He's working by a tree that is special to us both - the tree is nice, but that isn't why it's special. We planted it last year on August 1st - the due date of the baby we lost.

We found out we were pregnant the week before Thanksgiving 2006. I was so excited as I watched that second pink line appear on the test. Brian was happy also when I woke him up with the news. (I think he was actually awake but he pretended to be asleep for effect.) We made plans to tell our families at the Christmas - it would be a great present! We shopped for a new car, even test drove a couple minivans.
Our first appointment was the week before Christmas, "I'm not picking up a heartbeat, hon. Come back in a couple of days and we'll do another ultrasound and some bloodwork."
I didn't understand why in the world this would happen to us. I beat myself up for drinking too much coffee before I knew I was pregnant, and for walking too fast on the treadmill at the Y, for being too excited, and for letting Brian down. I felt really lonely with in my grief. When we stood in front of our church family to break the news I was numb. I couldn't say a thing. Thankfully Brian was strong for me. He comforted me with this verse:

You are good and you do good; teach me your statutes.
Psalm 119:68

He is good, and He does good. Really, He does. I still think about that baby every day. I know eventually I will probably think less about it... For now I'm still wondering if the baby was a boy or a girl, fussy or happy, dark hair or light... I'm thankful for that small link to the baby I never held. I'm comforted in knowing that God does good for his people even when it feels bad.